OVERVIEW

I find it difficult to recount the events of September 11, 2001 without feeling a profound sense of sadness and helplessness. Like many of you, having grown up in Western Nassau County, I had many friends and acquaintances who worked in the City and who were killed that day. I still struggle mightily to not cry when I see images of that day. In the years since the cowardly murders of thousands of innocent people I have found that I try to remember the people whom I had known who were killed that day rather than the events and images themselves. I try to remember the good things about them and time I had spent with them. Every time I see a clock with the time 9:11 or 3:43 my thoughts immediately go to the events of that day. Sometimes the thoughts are brief. Other times they linger in my mind. I know everyone has their way of dealing with their feelings. This is my way of coping with the enormous grief I had felt ten years ago and have continued to feel each year since.

There were so many people who touched my life in some way, shape or form that were murdered that day. These were people that had grown up in my neighborhood who I would play with during my youth. They were people who I attended high school with and had socialized with as a teenager. These people were my contemporaries and brothers during my years in the Nassau County fire service. These were people who I had met, and worked with, during my career as a registered nurse. Many of the people I knew who were killed were “ordinary” people who possessed extraordinary personalities and talents.

MEMORIES OF…

I remember a young man whose lifelong dream to become a New York City Firefighter had come true just about a year before his death. I did not know him well but I knew he had a passion for helping others. This was a young man who I would see in the early morning hours at the 7-11 store in his FDNY uniform with a crew cut as I picked up my morning coffee and he was heading in to the City during his days at the Rock. I always remember when I spoke with him about his progress in the Academy his eyes would light up and the intensity in his voice was palpable. This was a young man who had achieved one of his life goals at such a young age. He had already touched so many lives at his age and when I attended the funeral services for him the number of people in attendance was evidence that he was that important to that many people. His name was Michael Kiefer.

I remember another firefighter whom I had only met a few times but my lasting memory is during my final few months as an ER nurse at Mercy Medical Center when an apartment building fire occurred and this veteran volunteer and FDNY firefighter was part of the team who rescued a woman and her child from one of the burning apartments. This was a woman who was in grave condition upon arrival but ultimately made a full recovery thanks to his actions. I always wondered, and still wonder, if the woman and her child knew how lucky they were and if they knew that the man responsible for saving their lives was tragically killed. His name was Durrell “Bronko” Pearsall.

I had the honor of working with two other members of FDNY who also happened to be registered nurses. One of the two men was an avid Elvis Presley and Jerry Lee Lewis fan, a practical joker, and who served his country in the Army reserves once per month. He loved his country, he loved his job, and most of all he loved his family. The other man was a bit more reserved. When he wasn’t working in the City or in the hospital, he loved to be on his boat. I had worked with both of these men just a few weeks before they were killed. These were two more men who were compassionate people who always wanted to be there to help others. Their names were Michael Mullan and Geoffrey Guja.

An old friend who got on the job at a later age was another guy who just made people around him happier when he was there. He was an avid follower of the Grateful Dead and loved to ride his bicycle everywhere. I can still remember seeing him around town in his tie-dyed shirts and shorts; always a smile on his face. His name was Robert “Bib” Linnane.

All of these men shared one common thing: they all entered an environment with one thing in mind and that was to help their fellow man. Together with 338 of their brothers they did not think of themselves on that day. They were running in while others were trying to get out.

I had also learned that a man whom I had known for over 20 years and served with in the fire service was also killed on that day. Although I was not close personally with him, I always knew him to be an active member of the community he lived in and was a respected businessman who was working in one of the Towers that morning. He was an avid runner and always in great physical shape. His loss was a crushing blow to everyone in my fire department. As a lasting tribute he has been immortalized by having one of the rigs dedicated in his honor. His name was Robert DeAngelis.

There was a man whom I had not seen in over 15 years and I had not learned of his death until several weeks after September 11th. We had grown up one block away from one another and played various sports in the streets near our homes. I can remember marathon wiffle ball games and touch football games that we hoped would never end. As had happened with many people from my youth we grew older and we grew apart but that did not change the fact that I was devastated by the news of his death. His name was Jeffrey Dingle.

OPINIONS AND OBSERVATIONS…

I am not going to go into the reasons for why I think this happened. I am going to say that the people who were made to suffer that day along with their families and friends who have suffered since are NOT the people who were at fault. The men and women who died that day were murdered. They did not die tragically. It was not an “unfortunate event”. This was an act of terrorism and murder. Period.

The evil swine who carried out the killings were not suicide bombers. They were murderers. I don’t care what their politics were; I don’t care what their religious beliefs were. I still don’t care that others from their culture feel threatened or feel as though they are being discriminated against because they share the same cultural and religious beliefs as the murderers. Americans were killed that day and as a result we have all given up many of the freedoms that we enjoyed as Americans prior to the attacks. I refuse to let the senseless deaths of 3000 Americans be twisted into some convoluted argument that we need to be more compassionate to the people who are self-proclaimed victims. In other words, get over it. If you don’t like the way you’re being treated then feel free to get out and go home to the “motherland” any time you want to be with others who will treat you the way you think you should be treated.

People who feel the way I do have been labeled as racists and haters. We are not. We are Americans. We were born here. We live here. It is our country. Other Americans who have come before us have sacrificed their lives to help protect the way of life that we choose to live. I am going to feel how I feel and I really don’t care what you think about it. When our way of life, our culture and our traditions are threatened to be taken away from us by newcomers who feel like they are “entitled” to impose their beliefs and laws upon us then I choose to oppose them. I will do what I can within my power to make sure they are not able to succeed. This all starts with the people who represent us in government. Let them know that if they are not putting America first then they will not last long in office.

As for the people who want to make September 11th a Federal Holiday please consider this: Our country does not need another day off; we have enough already. Instead, how about our society makes sure that our children and the children of all future generations are taught about what happened that day and how the events of September 11, 2001 changed our country, and the lives of millions of people, forever. There is a reason why dates like December 7, 1941 and November 22, 1963 are etched into my mind even though the events that took place on those two days occurred 28 and 6 years respectively before I was born. Neither of those days are national holidays yet I learned about those events because I was taught about them in school. I then took it upon myself to learn as much about the events that occurred on those days as I could because I had a rabid curiosity about why those things had occurred. My children are 8 and 9 years old. I talk to them frequently about the events that occurred on September 11, 2001. Each time the subject comes up, they ask more and more questions that show me that they have a better understanding of the events as they occurred on that day. I tell them about the people who my wife and I knew who were taken from us that day and I am proud of the fact that I am able to help them understand one of the worst events that have ever occurred on American soil.

IN CLOSING…

Like many of you, I attended dozens of funerals and memorial services for the people whom I had known and some whom I did not know. The thoughts of those days and nights still elicit strong feelings of sadness and anger. With this year being ten years since the terrorist attacks there are many in the media and elsewhere who will be “celebrating the anniversary of 9-11”. I prefer to say I am remembering the many people who were murdered on September 11, 2001.

It is my sincere hope that all of you are in a place in your lives where you are able to positively cope with the painful memories of ten years ago. I am truly sorry for everyone who has lost a loved one, friend or coworker on that day. If you are not, or if you know someone who may not be coping well, then please reach out for help. As you can tell, I still have a lot of anger inside as I am sure many of you have as well. It will be a long time before that feeling goes away; if ever. Until that time, I will always remember the people who we lost on that fateful day.

God Bless all of you and your families during this difficult time of year.

Jeff DiLavore – September 6, 2011